A friend of mine from Chicago once said that anytime anyone criticizes the city in which you live, your town, just put a bow on it, like a prized Berkshire hog at the county fair. Place it on the mantel, like some kind of trophy or shiny commendation. Put a potted plant on it, he said. Wear it with pride, whatever it is, like a badge of honor.
Do not overreact, he added. Don’t get defensive.
And if that critic is a young NBA player who never was defensive, in any way, taken with the 12th overall pick, a pick that should have been used on his college teammate Devin Booker, and a player who only got 16 minutes a game here and didn’t really do all that much with the time he was given, a decent player who could turn out to be all right, after all, but whose usefulness really came to light when he was shipped to Denver so the Jazz could get Donovan Mitchell, pretty much just laugh at it.
Laugh it off.
Here’s to grinning and giggling, cackling and cracking up at Trey Lyles and his recent comments about Salt Lake City, the Jazz, and their coach Quin Snyder, all of his complaints now with a petite Azalea bush sitting atop them.
Lyles offered his thoughts on a podcast, along with Nuggets teammate and former Jazz player and straight man Richard Jefferson. See if you can read them without busting a gut. You can’t. The conversation went like this:
Jefferson: “So, you were drafted by Utah. Then you …”
Lyles: “Unfortunately.”
Jefferson: “Let’s talk about why you didn’t want to go to Utah.”
Lyles: “I don’t know. I just didn’t like it.”
Later, the conversation skidded this way:
Jefferson: “I liked playing in Utah. I really did.”
Lyles: “Who was your coach then?”
Jefferson: “Tyrone Corbin.”
Lyles: “So, y’all didn’t practice. Y’all didn’t do nothing, yeah. We had practice every day. I thought I was in Kentucky again.”
Jefferson: “You had practice everyday? Oh, sorry for making you work hard. Sorry. What’s wrong with working hard, Trey?”
Lyles: “I didn’t say nothing about working hard. Three-hour practices. Come on, now.”
A bit further on, when the conversation turned to the worst NBA cities, Nuggets teammate Mason Plumlee piped in.
Plumlee: “I don’t think Utah is a great city to go and play in, but the guys who play there seem to love it.”
Lyles: “Usually the guys who love it are older. They have families.”
Jefferson: “I thoroughly enjoyed it. I didn’t have a family at the time, but I thoroughly loved it.”
More chatter.
Jefferson: “It’s very similar to Denver.”
Lyles: “It’s not similar to Denver.”
Jefferson: “If you’d shut up and let me talk.”
Lyles: “You don’t have to say [expletive] and be all rude.”
Jefferson: “It’s sunny all the time in Utah.”
Lyles: “Hmmmm.”
Jefferson: “The fans are really, really good.”
Lyles: “Hmmmm.”
Funny stuff, right? Like listening to Chuckles the Clown. He’s a riot. He’s killing us. Killing us. Oh, boy. Whew. Chortles, all around.
Hilarious.
Last May, when Lyles was asked if he liked Utah, he said he felt completely comfortable here, adding: “It’s a lot nicer than what you would think.”
Mildly amusing, but Lyles has gotten a lot funnier since.
Quin Snyder making Lyles work in his first couple of years to get better? To … you know, fulfill his potential? Three-hour practices! Oh, the humanity! Please! For the love of man. Our sides hurt. The guffaws are too much to take. Too, too much.
For his part, Snyder said this about Lyles when he was still playing in Utah: “Sometimes it’s better just to tell Trey to ease off, to let some of the air out of the balloon.”
Based on his waggish comments to Jefferson, Lyles wanted a whole lot of the air let out.
And giving Jazz fans the “hmmmm” treatment?
Oh, that’s good.
And the city is a family-friendly hellhole, suitable only for oldsters, for 30-somethings, not 20-somethings, because, like, there’s no young people here.
Comedic gold.
When Joe Ingles, Lyles’ former teammate heard about his criticisms, he fired off a message to him, probably congratulating him on his vast sense of humor. Ingles later said, in so many words, he figured Lyles was using hyperbole as a means to greater hilarity, utilizing immaturity as a device to work the crowd. And he finished his commentary on Lyles’ comments with a slap of the knee about where the Jazz are in their current pursuit of the playoffs — fourth — versus where the Nuggets are — ninth.
All in great fun.
Everybody, then, sniff the little potted Azalea plant and roll on the floor along with funny man Trey Lyles. Pin the badge on your chest and giggle away. Put the glistening hardware up on the mantel and celebrate the idea that Lyles thinks our town is one of the worst in the NBA, where the coach expects commitment and diligence and conscientiousness out of his players. Oh, man. No, no, no, no. Somebody make him stop. We … can’t … breathe. We’re in stitches here.
Chuckles the Clown plays in Denver. He’s a laugh a minute.
GORDON MONSON hosts “The Big Show” weekdays from 3 to 7 p.m. on 97.5 FM and 1280 AM The Zone.
