I have a good friend — let’s call him Bill — who complains, complains a lot, complains darn near all day. He swears a little when he does it, too.

Maybe you have a friend like Bill.

Sometimes, his bellyaching is funny. Sometimes, it’s almost charming. Sometimes, it’s pathetic. Sometimes, I want to punch Bill in the mouth. But no judgment here.

It’s downright impressive the things he can find to moan and groan about. It ranges from important stuff, like physical ailments, financial hardships, his family, straight on to insignificant, daily-grind type inconveniences, such as a bad golf shot, the traffic, the weather, his dog’s barking, the neighbor’s unkempt lawn.

I’ve heard it all from him, even personal gripes and beefs to which I wish I’d never been exposed. Still, it’s catching. When I’m around him, I’m tempted to join in on the complaints. My problem is, I can’t find that much to complain about. I like my life, I like my wife, I like my adult kids. I like my dog, and my neighbor’s lawn is fine. I do not like when I hook a tee shot that ends up two fairways over. I might have dropped a few expletives about that. But God permits a few curses on the golf course. It is the devil’s game, after all.

Good for the soul

Speaking of God, my grumpy friend is a churchgoing member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. He prays and reads scriptures. He’s the one who told me that my theory/rationalization regarding deity and double bogeys is OK, heaven-approved even. He says complaining is not only an aid for relieving tension, but it’s also good for the soul and flat-out sanctioned by the Almighty. And he quotes Scripture to back his argument.

His favorite book in the Old Testament is Psalms, which he says is pure poetry, half-filled with complaints, or, to use a more biblical term, laments.

Before calling BS on that, I checked.

Yeah, it seems he’s right. I saw no complaints about a schnauzer barking or cars backed up on the freeway or a shanked 5-iron, but I did get reminded about people and prophets, whoever wrote the durn poetry, squawking and grousing and griping to God. Maybe the key word there is “to,” not necessarily “at” God. (Perhaps there were a few “ats” in there as well.)

Lamentations about being forgotten by God, being forsaken by God, being beaten by enemies; about feeling pain and oppression and disappointment and frustration and confusion and sadness.

You know, human stuff.

The way to pray

Upon further review, the thing I enjoyed so much about the writings was the honesty in them. There didn’t seem to be a whole lot of fanciful decoration for appearances in what the writers were expressing. It reminded me of Tevye from “Fiddler on the Roof” when he talked directly to God in a personal, straightforward way. “On the one hand, on the other hand.” It was an open, barebones relationship, often filled with authentic — and heartfelt — conversation between a man and the heavens.

That’s the way folks should pray, the way I figure it. Respectful but real. And that’s the way it goes down in the holy book, the “book of complaints.”

Some of those laments in Psalms are aggressive and heavy. But, again, no judgment here. Those writers were trying to get by, living their lives, same as you live yours, Bill lives his, I live mine.

It’s encouraging to know that people whose words have been canonized, who faced their challenges on this sometimes-wretched terrestrial orb and who did their share of grumbling en route, still, in their imperfection, turned to talk with God, showing resolve that, despite their difficulties, they had faith that the Almighty was listening and that, with any luck, comfort might come.

And that’s pretty cool.

Heaven’s help

Whether afflictions or troubles are big or small or somewhere in between, if you’re a believer, you’ll likely take heavenly solace wherever, however it can come, finding additional comfort being assured that you won’t be condemned for whining and whimpering a little, as long as there’s some faith and gratitude thrown in as well.

Bill likes that promise. I did mention to him that Jesus in the New Testament warns against murmuring, but that reminder was met not with additional murmuring but with outright profanity.

Once more, no judgment from this corner. If you believe, you believe, if you don’t, you don’t. If you do roll that way, just pray to God, come what may, using whatever expressive words you can stir. Keep it honest, keep it real, and hope for God’s love and God’s understanding, maybe even God’s help.