Liz and Ryan Giles were in love — with each other, and their faith.
The two were returned female, or “sister,” missionaries for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints when they looked around at their choices — leave the church and marry, stay and marry men, or remain and live a celibate life — and decided they didn’t like any of them.
Instead, they picked what they’ve come to refer to as the “fourth option.” On Aug. 7, 2021, they married and sped off for a two-week honeymoon. The next Sunday, they took their seats in their Houston Latter-day Saint ward, or congregation.
The Gileses, who have since moved to Yakima, Washington, have been attending services ever since, a decision they are quick to recognize makes them outliers.
(Ryan and Liz Giles) Married in 2021, Ryan and Liz Giles have remained active Latter-day Saints, a decision they stressed may not be right for everyone in the LGBTQ community.
“A lot of people feel like they have to fully embrace their queer or their spiritual identity,” Liz said, “and turn away from the other.”
They weren’t surprised, then, when they learned that a new PRRI study of more than 22,000 Americans, including 400 Latter-day Saints, found that members of the Utah-based faith were the least likely to identify as LGBTQ when compared to other religious groups.
Possible reasons
According to the study, with an overall margin of error of less than 1 percentage point (the report did not specify a margin for its data related to the Latter-day Saint population specifically), 3% of Latter-day Saints identify as LGBTQ, slightly less than white evangelical Protestants and Jehovah’s Witnesses (4%).
In contrast, more than a quarter of Unitarian Universalists (29%) and nearly 1 in 5 of the religiously unaffiliated (19%), sometimes known as “nones,” identify as LGBTQ.
The Gileses have thought a lot about why this might be. They immediately began outlining explanations, filling in for the other when one paused to consider her next word. Their answers were based not only on their own experiences but also conversations they’ve had with LGBTQ Latter-day Saints and former church members.
Theory No. 1: Many Latter-day Saints, and especially women, just don’t know they’re queer.
“With the law of chastity and purity culture, you’re discouraged from exploring or thinking about sexuality,” Liz said, “whether homo- or heterosexual.”
As a result, the two said, many are 20 years deep into marriage before they realize their sexuality differs from the norm set by their faith community.
Theory No. 2 has to do with what many see as the church’s less-than-affirming policies and teachings, which they said lead a number of members to walk away from the faith after coming out, whenever that might be.
Church leaders have repeatedly affirmed the belief that marriage is between a man and a woman, for a time labeling those who marry someone of the same sex as “apostates,” and discourage social or surgical transitioning for transgender members.
As a result, Ryan explained, once individuals identify as LGBTQ, they no longer see remaining in the church as an option.
“So, it’s less that LDS people don’t identify as queer,” she said, “and more that queer people don’t identify as LDS.”
Finally, experience has taught the women that the social costs involved in coming out is simply too high for many Latter-day Saints, who choose to remain closeted.
“I have quite a few friends who have told me in the past that they think they might be bisexual or on the spectrum but that it isn’t worth diving into,” Ryan said, “because acknowledging it doesn’t make their lives easier.”
Shifting attitudes
(Christopher Cherrington | The Salt Lake Tribune)
Neither was the couple surprised when they learned that tucked into the study’s findings were two noticeable, if not major, shifts in attitudes regarding LGBTQ rights among their fellow church members.
In 2015, 38% of U.S. Latter-day Saints opposed religious-based refusals (for instance, the cake maker who turns away a same-sex couple planning a wedding). By 2023, that number had grown to 41%.
During that same time, support for nondiscrimination protections for LGBTQ communities ticked upward from 72% to 78%.
(Christopher Cherrington | The Salt Lake Tribune)
Far more noticeable was the jump among those in favor of allowing same-sex couples to marry — a number that rocketed from 27% to 50% in 2022 before slipping 3 percentage points the following year.
The Gileses believe a big part of this has to do with a kind of permission structure created by church leaders in recent years, particularly with regards to the issue of protections and marriage, through their vocal support for nondiscrimination and marriage laws when paired with some caveats for religious organizations.
In 2022, for instance, the church supported the Respect for Marriage Act, a federal law that codified marriages between same-sex couples while exempting religious organizations from having to solemnize the unions themselves.
Even so, the church stated in a news release at the time, its doctrine “related to marriage between a man and a woman is well known and will remain unchanged.”
‘Backsliding’
Nate McLaughlin, an openly gay 21-year-old Latter-day Saint studying at the University of Utah, offered a somewhat less-rosy evaluation of current views and treatment of LGBTQ church members and the queer community generally by his co-religionists.
“My perception,” he said, “is we’re backsliding a tad.”
During the past five or so years, he observed, queerphobia and especially transphobia have become “a main talking point for a lot of people,” both online and off.
“But,” he added, “I think that’s a lot of the country, frankly.”
(Nick McLaughlin) A student at the University of Utah, Nick McLaughlin is an openly gay Latter-day Saint who says he's in it "for the long haul."
The new PRRI study suggests McLaughlin might be onto something.
In contrast to Latter-day Saints, many religious groups registered small drops in support for nondiscrimination protections in the past year. And while majorities of most religious traditions surveyed favor allowing same-sex couples to marry legally, some showed a dip in support, including among Hispanic Catholics, whose support declined from 75% in 2022 to 68% in 2023.
As is, the church represents “a very volatile and unsafe space for a lot of LGBT people,” McLaughlin said, noting that a great deal depends on local lay leadership and the people sitting in the pews.
“I’m in a singles ward, so it’s full of people my age,” he said. “Something I’ve observed is that younger members, by and large, are far more aware and far more Christlike in their interactions with LGBT people and far more likely to really care and want to make the church a safer place.”
Generational divides might also play a role in how likely a Latter-day Saint is to identify as LGBTQ.
According to a 2023 survey, more than 1 in 5 Latter-day Saint college students (22%) say they are something other than heterosexual. Published by the Foundation for Individual Rights and Expression, the report included 39,000 respondents between ages 18 to 25. Of those, a little more than 700 identified as Latter-day Saints.
Regardless of trends, McLaughlin said his mind is made up.
“I’m in it for the long haul,” he said, explaining that his attachment rests “in the theology and the community” and his belief that “our Heavenly Parents love all their LGBT kids.”
The Gileses, meanwhile, are less sure.
“We don’t know if it will be a healthy place for us to be in forever,” Liz said. “We take that day by day.”
Editor’s note • This story is available to Salt Lake Tribune subscribers only. Thank you for supporting local journalism.
