Prior to marking my ballot in November there are some things I need to know. For example, I need to know more about boat batteries and sharks and their relationship with each other.
I need to know more about Hannibal Lecter and what his dinner plans are. I need to know what happened to the check from Mexico for the 52 total miles of fence that was built. I also need to know why several hundred yards of the billion dollar fence fell down in a 25 mph wind storm.
I also want to know why the fence was not built along the remaining 1,902 miles. I also need to know why the border patrol agents allow Mexicans living along the border to use the fence as an exercise machine. Why are they allowed to climb it and sit on top and wave to the border patrol agents? I need to know why North Korea still has a nuclear program. I need to know what happened to the best health care plan ever invented as was promised. I need to know where all that clean coal is that was promised.
I need to know how to steal money from a children’s charity fund in New York state.
I need to know how to start up a fake university and bilk thousands of hopeful young people out of their money. I need to know in the event I ever build a casino how to go bankrupt and put all those people that put their trust and faith in me out of work and then I need to know how to cheat them out of their final paychecks.
I need to know how to fake bone spurs so I never have to serve in the military. I need to know how to find the book Two Corinthians in the Bible.
I need to know how we can bring back cement and how not to catch cancer from distant windmills.
I need to know how the revolutionary army took over all the airports back in 1783 and forced the British out of our country.
This is but a brief list of things I need to know before Election Day. Once all these questions are answered I will probably have more. If anyone reading this has questions please add them in your comment.
Jack Lader, Herriman