If you’re familiar with The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, you know this narrative: a member has their feelings hurt by something another member says or does, so the offended person turns their back on the church and leaves behind the blessings of eternity. All because they couldn’t accept that people, including Mormons, aren’t perfect.
The lesson we’re supposed to learn is that, while individual church members may be mean or rude or problematic, the church itself is perfect and we should therefore stay in. The only problem is that for me, and many other ex-Mormons, what we take offense to isn’t the one-off slight from a single member — it’s the attitude and behavior of the church as a whole.
We take offense to the church hoarding billions of dollars while asking impoverished members to give it money. We take offense to the church treating LGQBT+ members and their families like second-class citizens. We take offense to the church condemning racism while never officially apologizing for its own racist past.
We take offense to the church using its influence to bully, exploit, and get rich instead of following a gospel of unconditional love, repentance, and charity.
So yes, I was offended, and that’s why I left. Because I was raised to always do the right thing no matter what those around me were saying. I was raised to choose right over wrong, selflessness over selfishness, and love over hate.
And while that offense may be the reason I left, it shouldn’t be the reason active Mormons disregard my experience. In fact, they should take that same level of scrutiny they have of ex-Mormons and use it to examine the religion to which they belong. Because if they do, they might become offended just like me.
Tanner Call, Silver Spring
