Recently received reports indicate a plethora of potential land acquisitions in the works, prompted by President Trump’s interest in purchasing Greenland.
The Russians are very interested in re-purchasing Alaska, but with the proviso that Sarah Palin relocate to the lower 48.
The Dutch covet Manhattan, although, due to current real estate valuations there, it is believed that their offer will combine cash and tulip futures.
The British have expressed great interest in re-acquiring Plymouth Rock, and perhaps an additional large chunk of eastern Massachusetts.
Cuba, appropriately, is preparing an offer for Miami. Again, due to the high cash value, they are expected to “sweeten” the offer with sugar cane futures.
China is rumored to be preparing a terrific offer for part of San Francisco.
Clearly, our interest in Greenland should be taken seriously, and recognized as a globally provocative suggestion that sovereign and federal real estate is in play.
This is for real – this isn’t fake news, hey?
Alan Agle, Park City
