COVID-19 is hardly the first global disease to visit Utah. In my lifetime — at least those that I can recall — there have been three flu scares besides the current one.
Asian flu (H2N2) of 1957-1958. It killed an estimated 2 million people worldwide. I wasn’t aware of the particulars at the time because I was only 5. All I knew is that Mom wouldn’t let me play with other kids. Being Latter-day Saints, it was probably of some concern to my parents because General Conference was canceled in 1957. Being a kid, I didn’t know and wouldn’t have cared if I had.
Hong Kong flu of 1968-1969. I definitely remember this one, because I was a teenager and necking eventually became problematic, and no one in church would stop praying for protection from the disease. Even so, about 100,000 people died from it in the U.S. alone.
Avian flu (H1N1) of 2009. Although this disease was more recent, all I remember is the thermal screening of travelers at airports, looking for those with elevated temperatures.
Oh, and death to all pigs was ordered by Egypt. I definitely remember that because I was a religion columnist for this newspaper at the time. And since Muslims don’t eat pork, I speculated whether this drastic measure was motivated by hygiene or seized upon as a convenient demonstration of faith.
Whatever. One thing for sure is that we’re back in the … stuff … now. People are scrambling for protection from the coronavirus.
LATER: Just got back from three grocery stores. The wife sent me because she needed milk for our granddaughter and sugar to do a little canning because she’s self-quarantined and bored. She sent me with a list.
There were no potatoes, bread, sugar, flour, milk, water or sense. I came home with the last container of sour cream to put on my granddaughter’s cereal.
This kind of freaking out is nothing new. The 1918 Spanish flu pandemic terrified everyone, including criminals.
On Oct. 10, 1918, the Deseret Evening News published the following safety tips to avoid being struck down.
• Avoid needless crowding — influenza is a crowd disease.
• Your nose, not your mouth, was made to breathe through — get the habit.
• Try to keep cool when you walk and warm when you ride and sleep.
• Open the windows — always at home at night; at the office when practicable. (How in the hell do you keep warm when you sleep if you leave your windows open at night in October?)
• Food will win the war if you give it a chance — help by choosing and chewing your food well. (Chewing well cancels out respiratory issues?)
• Don’t let waste products in digestion accumulate — drink a glass or two of water on getting up. (Constipation was a killer. Even coughing couldn’t loosen it.)
• Avoid tight clothes, tight shoes, tight gloves — seek to make nature your ally, not your prisoner. (There goes Hollywood today.)
• When the air is pure, breathe all of it that you can — breathe deeply. (And don’t forget to save it for use later.)
OK, some of these are completely unrealistic. I’d blame it on the ignorance and panic at the time, but then I just got back from the grocery store.
Robert Kirby is The Salt Lake Tribune’s humor columnist. Follow Kirby on Facebook.
