We shouldn’t need bouncers at youth sporting events. But sometimes we do.
The past few weeks, I’ve experienced multiple angry outbursts by parents at youth sporting events. A few weeks ago, two dads were fighting at a junior high boys’ basketball game. The spectacle was so loud and angry, and my protective instincts kicked in. My heart raced. I was ready to grab my kid and leave. It was frightening. As a woman, I was not in a position to break it up or step in without further endangering myself. Eventually they left the building.
This weekend, I helped lead a large sporting event representing several hundred athletes from across the state of Utah. On several occasions I was asked to mitigate angry parents. Once I was called in a panic because of a man starting a fight in the stands behind several children. Those sitting next to the angry man were scared, as they should have been considering the panic that ensued at a recent NCA cheerleading event, where a fight triggered fear and a mass exodus. I had to enlist other volunteers several times to be my “backup” as I approached angry parents. We volunteers nervously joked that we needed bouncers at this event, but it’s really not funny.
As we gather as a community to watch our kids participate in sports this spring and summer as the weather warms, can we please remember: It is just a game, it is just a race, it is just a seat, it is just an official or a volunteer doing their best. We shouldn’t need bouncers at youth sporting events. No one should be afraid to volunteer, to officiate or to cheer on their child at youth sporting events.
We as parents need to model good sportsmanship, patience, emotional regulation and positivity. We as parents cannot expect our kids to not throw tantrums on the field, in the gym or in the pool if we ourselves are throwing tantrums every time things don’t go our way. As we watch our children compete and participate in sports, our children are watching us and how we behave on the sidelines. Let’s make them proud.
Stop the yelling. Stop the threats. Stop the insults. Stop the entitlement. Stop expecting perfection from the game, from the race, from the officials, from the volunteers and from your child. We won’t always win, so let’s not teach our kids to be poor losers.
The next time you watch your kid compete in sports, I don’t want to be afraid to sit next to you. I don’t want to be afraid to approach you as a volunteer and help you understand the rules. I don’t want to hear you yell at your kid or at the adults around you. I just want to cheer on my kid and encourage them to do their best, win or lose.
Parents in Utah, we need to do better. Our children deserve better.
(Stephenie Glissmeyer) Stephenie Glissmeyer is a full time Clinical Nurse Coordinator MSN/RN.
Stephenie Glissmeyer is a full time clinical nurse coordinator MSN/RN who spends most of her spare time volunteering throughout the state as an administrative official and meet director for USA Swimming events and working with A Bolder Way Forward Utah to help women and girls in the state thrive.
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