Nearly 40 years ago, my wife Sue and I learned gratitude and thanksgiving in a way, at a time and in a place most unexpected. We were living in Taipei, Taiwan, with our two young children. With no extended family nearby and in a culture that didn’t recognize Thanksgiving, we decided to get out of the city for a few days, taking our tiny, slightly questionable car on a drive up to a mountain village for a mini-vacation.
The drive up the mountain was filled with stunning, beautiful scenery, combined with some white-knuckle moments on winding roads that had been partially wiped away by a recent earthquake. At one point, Sue declared that we would have to live in this mountain town because there was no way she was going to drive back down the steep and damaged road.
On Thanksgiving Day, we drove higher up into the mountains toward a small village. As we climbed in elevation, we began to dream about the Thanksgiving dinner we would soon enjoy. Although we knew there would be no turkey, we imagined a feast of the many Chinese dishes that had become our favorites.
Thinking ahead, I began to plan how much cash we would need to complete our trip. As a foreigner, I had no credit cards or checking accounts; everything had to be handled in cash. I had set aside the money needed for gas and the hotel for the trip, but to my dismay, I discovered that we had less than 10 cents left for our Thanksgiving dinner. I broke the news to Sue, who smiled and said we’d figure it out — Sue would have made a great pioneer.
After arriving in town and finding the cheapest hotel, we headed out for dinner with our 10 cents. We walked around the little town and eventually managed to purchase the only Thanksgiving item we could afford — something I never would have imagined — a small package of Smack Ramen noodles. On the way back to our room with our Thanksgiving feast in a single package, we passed by the door of the hotel kitchen. I noticed several employees standing around a large rice cooker, which must have been about three feet in diameter. It was only plain rice, yet it seemed out of reach in our humble circumstances.
For the first time, I experienced the crushing, humiliating and defeated feelings of not being able to provide what my family needed. I felt a sudden, deep empathy for all those who are really trying to provide for their children or family and cannot. The single mom, the unemployed parent — all who have to tell their children or partner that they will have to go without food, or a coat or a place to stay. In that moment, though it was just a brief one, I gained an earned empathy for those struggling and in need that I have never forgotten.
I swallowed my pride and walked into the kitchen. Humbly, I explained our situation and asked if they might give us a bowl of rice. They gladly obliged, and we returned to our room with our bowl of rice and noodles.
The room we were in had no heater and was getting very cold. We turned on the shower and sink, hoping the hot water would warm up the room. We also needed to use the hot water from the sink to cook our noodles. The four of us sat on the floor and ate all that we had. I never could have imagined that a packet of noodles and a bowl of plain rice could constitute a Thanksgiving feast.
I have never looked at a package of ramen in quite the same way since. I have never looked at employees working in hotel kitchens quite the same way either, as I remember those who had pity and compassion on me in a moment of need. Newly found gratitude for simple things and a newly earned empathy for those who struggle made it a Thanksgiving never to be forgotten.
William George Jordan wrote in 1902, “Ingratitude, the most popular sin of humanity, is forgetfulness of the heart … The individual who possesses it [ingratitude] finds it the shortest cut to all the other vices.” Jordan concluded his thought on ingratitude with this challenge: “Let us conceive of gratitude in its largest, most beautiful sense, that if we receive any kindness we are debtors, not merely to one person, but to the whole world … let us realize that it is in kindness to all that we can begin to repay the debt to one.”
The next day, we returned from the mountain to our apartment in the city. It was wonderful to get my little family back home — to our full cupboards and to all the things that we needed. The memory of that Thanksgiving has never left me.
During this Thanksgiving week, I’m grateful for many things, including family, freedom and, yes, food. I am also especially grateful for the kindness of others, like those who shared with me when I had almost nothing to eat, and for the many in our community who continue to share their own “bowl of rice.”
I agree with Jordan that we should “realize that it is in kindness to all that we can begin to repay the debt to one.”
(John R. Curtis) John R. Curtis currently represents Utah’s 3rd Congressional District and is U.S. Senator-Elect for Utah.
John R. Curtis currently represents Utah’s 3rd Congressional District and is U.S. Senator-elect for Utah. He has been ranked by the nonpartisan Center for Effective Lawmaking as the 9th most effective Republican member of Congress. John has been married to his wife Sue for 41 years and together they have 6 children and 17 grandchildren.
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