Mental health and loss are bound together in ways that shape the core of our existence, influencing how we face life’s heaviest and most painful moments. Growing up in my Trinidadian household, grief was like a whisper carried through generations — ever-present, but never spoken about openly.
When someone died, our community gathered in a remarkable show of love and strength: wakes filled with song and tears, prayers offered with hands tightly clasped and elaborate funerals where every detail felt sacred. These traditions provided comfort, a communal embrace that felt unbreakable. Yet beneath the public rituals of mourning, there was an unspoken rule: Grief was to be contained. The expectation was clear — to move forward, to embody resilience and to tuck our sadness deep within, not from a lack of love, but to guard our hearts from the raw ache of loss.
When my grandmother, the heart of our family, passed away, I felt an all-encompassing grief that seemed to seep into the fabric of my life. It was a grief that refused to be quiet, yet expressing it openly felt almost taboo. The community showed up, surrounding us with love in the ways they knew best. But after that initial wave of support receded, the message was clear: It was time to grieve in silence, to carry the weight alone. I remember hearing well-meaning phrases like, “She’s in a better place,” and “Be strong for the family.” Words meant to uplift but which instead felt heavy, as if they demanded I mask the storm within me.
What I craved most was permission to let the pain exist, to be seen in the fullness of my grief without feeling pressured to bury it.
Now, as an MSW student, I’ve begun to unravel the roots of these cultural norms. I understand that these calls for strength come from a place of love, woven deeply into the fabric of our Trinidadian culture, where endurance is worn like a badge of honor. Strength is often measured in how quietly we carry our pain, how gracefully we move forward. But I’ve also come to see how this silence can be suffocating, leaving people feeling detached from their own grief, as though it must be contained, managed and kept small. My grief never felt small — it was vast, and it longed to be acknowledged. I needed someone to tell me that it was okay for my sorrow to be as deep and consuming as it felt.
The cultural silence surrounding grief can leave us unprepared for the crushing reality of loss. It can lead to what experts call “disenfranchised grief,” a grief that goes unacknowledged by society. This type of grief is real and can feel as profound as losing a close loved one. The pain of a long-term friendship falling apart, the heartbreak of leaving behind a childhood home, or the quiet devastation of losing a cherished neighbor — these losses are often overlooked and dismissed as minor. Yet in Trinidadian culture, where the community is our anchor, not having these experiences validated can leave us feeling even more alone, yearning for spaces where our grief is allowed to breathe.
Looking back, I see the beauty and strength in our ways. Our community knows how to gather, to uplift, to hold each other. But I also believe we need spaces where we can fully honor our grief. Spaces where our sadness is valid, our pain seen, and where true resilience is found not in silence, but in the courage to embrace sorrow alongside healing. Because maybe the deepest strength lies not in how well we suppress our grief but in how bravely we let it be felt, acknowledged and shared.
(Taylor Shania Lopez Boodooram) Taylor Shania Lopez Boodooram is the owner of Taylor Shania Photo & Film, a clinical intern at Manaaki Mental Health and a first-year MSW student at The University of Utah.
Taylor Shania Lopez Boodooram is a passionate, creative mental health advocate, merging artistry with purpose. As the owner of Taylor Shania Photo & Film, Taylor captures the essence of destination elopements, weddings and brand stories. Taylor is also a clinical intern at Manaaki Mental Health and a first-year MSW student at The University of Utah. Taylor is driven by a mission to bridge mental health awareness across cultures, combining creative storytelling with advocacy to inspire healing, resilience and meaningful connections.
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