A bulletin as it might have appeared on the pages of the Times of London, July 4, 1778:
Glorious news has just arrived from Philadelphia in the American colony of Pennsylvania! The rebellion in the colonies has ended with the capture of the traitors George Washington, Dr. Benjamin Franklin, Thomas Jefferson, and John Adams and much of the Continental Congress. The rebels will doubtless now face the King’s justice!
Victorious General Sir William Howe generously admitted that much of the credit for his victory was due to a plague of smallpox in the rebel’s encampment at Valley Forge, Pennsylvania. Sir William also stated, “This infamous rebellion could have had a much different outcome had the so-called Continental Army not dissolved due to disease and desertions. However, Washington’s ragtag band of rascals came under assault from an affliction of smallpox so fierce that it must be an intervention from Providence. Thankfully, the ignorant and superstitious colonials did not employ the technique of inoculation which we in the Mother Country have known for decades. Why, even in barbarous China they know of it.”
But reliable sources have informed this writer that General Washington actually believed in inoculation and wanted to inoculate his soldiers. However, an order of the Continental Congress banning inoculations of his troops stopped him. Additionally, colonies and localities, led by the colonies in the South, also passed laws against inoculation mandates. The rabble-rouser, Patrick Henry, in the colony of Virginia proclaimed, “No forced Washington inoculations! We have not thrown off one King George only to install another. Give us liberty or give us death!”
The case against inoculations was also greatly aided by false news in the Loyalist press which carried stories of men and women whose private parts withered immediately following inoculation.
The King is considering declaring today a national holiday. At Whitehall Palace, the King’s Prime Minister, Lord North, announced, “I shall urge the King to henceforth declare this day, July 4, 1778, as VA Day—Victory in America Day — and distribute a ration of grog to every adult subject!”
True events inspire this bit of Revolutionary War fake history (see April 16, 2020, issue of the National Geographic Magazine).
In the winter of 1776-77, smallpox took the lives of one-third to one-half of the soldiers in an American army which unsuccessfully invaded Canada. Rather than have his troops suffer the same fate, (and not having today’s vaccines which do not contain live viruses), Washington ordered inoculations of his soldiers with a small dose of a live smallpox virus.
It worked. About 40,000 soldiers received inoculations. Smallpox infection rates dropped from 20 percent to 1 percent. And yes, the Continental Congress and colonial legislatures and localities banned Washington’s inoculations. Fortunately for the American side in the Revolution, Washington quietly ignored these orders and his troops lived to continue the fight.
Washington and his army of 1778 were sterner stuff than the lot we have running Utah in 2021. The “summer soldiers” and “sunshine patriots” of Utah’s political class quake at the thought of trying to persuade the loudest and most self-centered of their constituents to surrender just a little of their precious freedom for the common good.
Folks, 51% of Utahns fully vaccinated is not much better than Mississippi. We can do better. Utah’s politicians can do better. Risking a little political capital is the least our leaders can do to support the vulnerable in our community — not to mention the doctors, nurses and other health care workers who are giving their lives and their health to fight this vicious disease.
Lawrence J. Leigh
Lawrence J. Leigh has a Ph.D. in government from the University of Arizona. He also is a former Assistant United States Attorney for Utah and the Northern District of California.
