October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. According to the National Coalition of Domestic Violence, 1 in 3 women and 1 in 4 men will be victims of some sort of physical violence by a partner sometime in their lifetime. Calls to the Domestic Abuse Hotline in Utah were up 22 percent last year.
Lauren McCluskey, the University of Utah student who was killed Monday, was the victim of a man who lied to her about his background and, when she broke off their relationship, began harassing her.
Also on Monday, police responded to a domestic violence call and found Jason Whittle holding a knife to his mother’s throat. He was shot by police.
On Oct. 10, Chris Ono allegedly beat his girlfriend severely. When police approached the home where she said the assault occurred, he pointed a pistol at officers. He eventually surrendered uninjured and was booked into the Tooele County Jail.
On Oct. 11, Diamond Riviore was shot by police after he went to his ex-girlfriend’s home and threatened her with a knife while she held their 9-month-old baby. Less than 48 hours before that, he had been released from jail on another domestic violence charge.
On Oct. 15, police officers responded to a “family problem” in Orem when teenager Jacob Albrethsen came after them with a knife. After an unsuccessful attempt to tase him, officers shot him.
Those are the stories that made the headlines. There have undoubtedly been a number of other instances of domestic violence in our state, in this month that asks us to pay attention to those who are being abused.
We must ask what role culture plays in the rates of domestic violence. Do we train young men to think they’re superior to young women? Do they then grow up to be more likely to abuse their romantic partners? Do we train our young women to be submissive to the men in their lives, no matter what? If those are the messages being sent, is there then a tie to domestic violence?
Those attitudes make what happened this week at a Utah high school all the more concerning. Snow Canyon High School has had a tradition of promoting Men’s Week and Women’s Week. This year, some of the banners hung by students (without permission from the administration) included slogans like “Enter if you believe MEN are the superior gender” and “It feels so good to be a [gangsta, crossed out] MAN.” Last year’s banners included “What’s a women’s [sic] point of view? The kitchen window.” and “It’s MANKIND for a reason!!” with stick figure drawings of men being superior to women and “All MEN are created equal.”
Despite complaints last year, Snow Canyon went ahead and planned male-only events this year as well. At the kickoff assembly on Monday, a coach told students not to get offended and that it was all in good fun. Talk about promoting a culture of harassment and even misogyny. Ugh. (To his credit, the principal responded appropriately by apologizing and making the planned events open to all students.) Still, it’s clear that there are people who think this type of behavior and commentary is OK.
Not just high schoolers, either. Last week, I wrote about women being worth educating. One of the commenters on that article wondered, “Especially in Zion, why do females go to college if the ultimate long-range goal is to be a stay at home mom?
“There is nothing wrong with that perspective,” he goes on to explain, then adds, “It seems to be you are depriving someone else that seat in the classroom who might stay in the vocation more than a few years.”
How did we get here? How did we reach a point where domestic violence is relatively commonplace? While there are undoubtedly many factors, it seems clear that there is a connection between people who devalue others and people who believe they can control others through violence.
This month, we have seen that play out with deadly effects.
(Photo Courtesy Holly Richardson)
Holly Richardson, a regular contributor to The Salt Lake Tribune, grieves for those who have been and are being injured, threatened and even killed by those they once loved.
