High school graduation season is once again upon us, and this year our family has three children getting diplomas. We are excited to fight traffic and sit on hard seats so we can cheer for them — and I mean that sincerely.
If some of those graduates are like most of my kids, it’s easy to think that, after 13 years of school, they’ve made it to “the end.” It is an important milestone, to be sure, but it’s really just a beginning. That’s why we call graduation ceremonies “commencement” and not “conclusion.” What an exciting and scary time.
It’s exhilarating to make your own decisions and set your own schedule. When I left home as a teenager, one of the first things I did was buy orange juice and drink it at dinnertime. You see, in my home growing up, we were only allowed to have orange juice at breakfast. It made me feel all kinds of grown up to have it for dinner. And going to bed as late as I wanted? That was pretty awesome. (For the first week.)
There is a world of possibility ahead of you. But guess what — life is work. Lots of it. Joseph Campbell famously said “Follow your bliss,” but when he saw that some people took that to mean kick back and wait for good things to fall in your lap, he said in some frustration that what he should have said was, “Follow your blisters.” College or trade school takes work. Jobs require work. Relationships take work. Keeping your place clean takes work. Learn to love working.
Jenkin Lloyd Jones said: “Anyone who imagines that bliss is normal is going to waste a lot of time running around shouting that he’s been robbed. The fact is that most putts don’t drop, most beef is tough, most children grow up to just be people, most successful marriages require a high degree of mutual toleration, most jobs are more often dull than otherwise. Life is like an old time rail journey … delays … sidetracks, smoke, dust, cinders and jolts, interspersed only occasionally by beautiful vistas and thrilling burst of speed. The trick is to thank the Lord for letting you have the ride.”
And what a ride it is!
You’re going to make mistakes. That’s OK. It’s also OK to ask for help from people who have done what you are trying to do, from buying your first car to deciding which classes to take your first semester in college to more serious questions about dating, sex, racism, gender roles and discrimination. Sometimes those long conversations are the things you will look back on the most fondly during this portion of your life.
You probably know by now that I believe you must include service as an integral part of your life.
Victor Frankl, a concentration camp survivor and author of the book “Man’s Search for Meaning,” said, “Man [or woman] is originally characterized by his [or her] ‘search for meaning’ rather than his [or her] ‘search for himself [or herself].’ The more he [or she] forgets himself [or herself] — giving himself [or herself] to a cause or another person — the more human he [or she] is. And the more he [or she] is immersed and absorbed in something or someone other than himself [or herself], the more he [or she] really becomes himself [or herself].”
If you want to find yourself, your true self, lose yourself in the service of others.
Don’t wait until you are settled, until you have achieved a certain level of income or a certain age to serve. There are always — always — people you can reach out to and serve. There is an old saying, “I complained I had no shoes until I met a man who had no feet.” Make service an integral part of your life and you will always live a life of purpose and perspective.
In so many ways, life is what you make of it. Make it a happy one. Happy trails, graduates!
(Photo Courtesy Holly Richardson)
Holly Richardson is a regular contributor to The Salt Lake Tribune and is excited to see what these young graduates will do.