I watched, listened to and talked about the student walk-outs (my children included) to find a solution for the unacceptable violence in our schools. Frankly, I tire from the ever-frustrating brain dumps of proposed solutions and the resulting conflict amongst us. I am united with those suffering and frustrated over what isn’t working and I, like so many of you, continue to search for solutions.
I read about the solutions, I search, I analyze, I discuss. Gun control legislation, better background checks, mental health treatment, metal detectors, bullet proof backpacks, armed teachers, a national gun registry, soldiers placed in the schools with machine guns, confiscation of guns from law-abiding citizens, marches demanding change, parents screaming “shame on you” and demanding action from leaders to fix the problems.
However, I propose the solution must be deeper and different this time. The solution must be personal. The solution must be me.
I must engage in self-evaluation about my own guns, violence in my home, parenting, community involvement, legislative involvement, constitutional rights, social media use, bullying and mental health issues. The only solution that makes sense is me. Changing myself first and then my family and then my society. The solution is simply … me.
The solution is me. I will reach out more, observe more, care more, love more. I will stop patronizing violent movies, video games and novels. I will ask my kids to do the same. I will ask my kids to “see” the child in their school who is suffering, lonely, bullied, sad or angry and ask my children, train them, to reach out, care for and love that person.
I will be a better friend, a better neighbor, a better husband and a better father. I will help my kids and those I can influence deal with life’s pressures and failures, learn to cope and teach them, by example, awareness, kindness, empathy and compassion. The solution is me.
I need to take steps that will make a difference, rather than making feel good symbolic gestures that don’t solve the root of the problem. I need to be the solution to the underlying causes of crime, poverty, alienation, family dysfunction, fatherless children and violent entertainment. Me.
The solution is not gun legislation. The solution is not arming teachers. The solution is not putting armed soldiers in the schools. The solution is not metal detectors or bullet-proof backpacks, less guns or gun registries. The solution is not harsher punishments, or even better background checks. All of these ideas are great and will make a difference at some level; but the solution is me.
I know the best place to begin. I don’t have to wait. I know the uncomfortable conversations that need to happen in the mirror, in my home and in my community. I know the changes that need to be made, I understand my needs and the needs of my family, my community, my schools, my kids. I don’t have to wait for the government to solve the problem. The Solution is ME.
I pledge to start being the solution I so desperately seek. I ask you to join me, we don’t have to wait. #TSisME
Scott M. McCullough
Scott M. McCullough, Fruit Heights, is a husband and father and ... many other professional and civic roles, which pale in comparison and importance.
