This primary election season, several Utah Republican incumbents followed the lead of the national Republican Party and refused to participate in debates sponsored by the nonpartisan debate commission, opting instead to hold their own forums where the questions were less than challenging.
Utah Rep. Burgess Owens — a guy who once lined up across from some of the biggest, fiercest players in the NFL — didn’t just duck out of the debate commission’s events, but was even afraid to debate challenger Jake Hunsaker during the GOP-hosted debate.
Now that the precedent is set, it’s not hard to envision these most delicate flowers opting out of participating in future debates, and instead hiding in a safe space where they won’t have to be challenged on what they’ve done (or haven’t done) or try to explain to voters why they should be re-elected.
(Francisco Kjolseth | The Salt Lake Tribune) Robert Gehrke.
Here’s what I think those future forums, those safe spaces for our Congressional delegation, might look like in the future:
Jorgensen: Hello and welcome to the Utah Republican Party’s super-soft candidate forum. I am Carson Jorgensen, the chairman of the state party, and tonight I will be the moderator — although, as a party, we don’t care for anything with the word “moderate” in it.
We have created these events to offer a non-threatening, issue-free space for our incumbent candidates. Tonight we are joined by Sen. Mike Lee and Rep. Chris Stewart. We attempted to invite Rep. Burgess Owens, but he remains in hiding.
Owens did send us this statement from his Random Outrage Generator, which I’ll read on his behalf:
“Because the woke, communist-socialist, pedo-groomer libs, along with the worst president in history, Joe Biden, have inflated gas prices and caused the Russian invasion with their CRT and ESG so they can steal elections and drive God out of where he belongs — the schools — and replace Him with pornographic videos that turn kids trans, I cannot attend. Also, buy some guns.”
Stewart: That’s some sweet, sweet outrage.
Jorgensen: It sure is. Now, moving to the matters of substance, my first question is about my cowboy hat: Do you think it is too big? First to you, Sen. Lee.
(Leah Hogsten | The Salt Lake Tribune) Utah Republican Party Chair Carson Jorgensen moderates a debate between Utah's Third Congressional District Incumbent Rep. John Curtis and challenger Chris Herrod at the Spencer W. Kimball Tower on the campus of Brigham Young University ahead of the June 28 Republican primary election on Friday, May 27, 2022.
Lee: It’s a terrific hat. But in Joe Biden’s America, the government will try to dictate what size hat you can wear and I, for one, won’t let that happen.
Stewart: Once I was at a county fair and saw a guy wearing a cowboy hat that was just enormous. Yours is much smaller. I don’t wear a lot of hats because I have a very small head. But on you, the hat works.
Jorgensen: Thank you. The next question is for Sen. Lee. Other than Ronald Reagan, who is the greatest American ever to live?
Lee: That’s a very good question. I’ve read the Constitution and nothing in there gives Congress the power to decide the greatest American, so it would probably be unconstitutional for me to name one. But it’s Donald Trump. He’s basically Captain Moroni.
Jorgensen: OK. And you Rep. Stewart?
Stewart: Ronald Reagan.
Jorgensen: Besides him.
Stewart: That guy Maverick from “Top Gun”?
Jorgensen: He’s not real.
Stewart: Agree to disagree.
Jorgensen: Fine. Moving on, we have a question for Rep. Stewart about gas prices. Why are high gas prices the Democrats’ fault and what would you propose we do about it?
Stewart: Well, all we hear from Joe Biden is that we need more solar and wind. I don’t know about you, but I’ve never seen a car with a sail — although it would be pretty cool. All the Democrats want to do is build a bunch of electric charging stations. If we want to solve a gas shortage, then we should be building a bunch of gas stations. I mean, that’s where gas comes from. The more gas stations we have, the more prices will come down. That’s basic economics. Doesn’t take a genius.
Jorgensen: I suppose it doesn’t. Same question to you, Sen. Lee.
Lee: All over the state, families are furious at how much they’re paying at the pump. Politically, that’s good for me. So what I’ll probably do is blame Joe Biden and propose impractical solutions that won’t address the immediate problem but will score political points. Kind of like I did with the baby formula bill I introduced. That way I can harness that suffering and turn it into votes.
Jorgensen: A very savvy response.
The final question is one we’re now asking because of the innuendo lobbed against David Leavitt in the Utah County attorney’s race. The question goes first to Rep. Stewart and it is this: Cannibalism, are you for it or against it?
Stewart: As Republicans, we usually only eat our own at the state convention. As far as I’m concerned, I am pro-life. That’s because I firmly believe that every human is precious, whether they are still in the womb, a young family starting out, senior citizens near retirement or even if they are sautéed in a butter sauce and served over rice. All of us have value and deserve to be treated with respect.
Jorgensen: And now to you, Sen. Lee.
Lee: With due respect, Carson, my views on cannibalism aren’t what matter. What matters is that I’m sick and tired of the government telling us what we should or shouldn’t eat. From the Agriculture Department’s food inspection programs to Michelle Obama trying to tell kids what they can have for school lunch, to cannibalism — it’s not the proper role of government to dictate the diet of every man, woman and child in America. It’s an outrage and I won’t stand for it.
Jorgensen: And with that, we are out of time. Thank you for joining us. I trust you haven’t learned anything of value tonight and I encourage you all to make sure to watch for your primary ballots and vote for the Republican incumbents like you always do — even though elections are rigged. Thank you and good night.
