"The Great Wall" is an elaborate, gorgeous-to-look-at, wannabe blockbuster that's really not much more than a monster movie — and not a particularly good one.
While this movie set in China is a Chinese-U.S. co-production helmed by Chinese director Zhang Yimou ("The House of Flying Daggers," "Hero") and features a predominantly Chinese cast, Matt Damon is the star — the Great White Hope of "The Great Wall."
He plays William Garin, a European in China trying to procure (aka steal) some highly explosive black powder. Not only are he, his friend/fellow mercenary Tovar (Pedro Pascal of "Game of Thrones" and "Narcos") and their party fleeing from members of "the hill tribes," but they're attacked by a huge creature they don't really get a good look at.
William manages to chop off the thing's hand before it falls over a cliff. And he takes the paw with him "so someone can tell me what I just killed."
When William and Tovar are taken captive by a huge army on the Great Wall, he gets his answer. It's a Taotie — a huge, lizardlike, semi-supernatural beast. And it was one of thousands who attack every 60 years, intent on destroying China before devouring the rest of the world.
We eventually learn that William has not always been such a good guy, but his contact with the young, beautiful Commander Lin (Jing Tian) turns him around. Before long, he's involved in the massive, violent battles that are festivals of special effects.
(The 3-D seems dated, however. Watching an arrow in flight might have been cool a decade or two ago.)
There are plot holes the size of the Great Wall in this film. A huge number of things make no sense. But this is all about the look, not about the dialogue.
And the attempts at comic relief — mostly involving Pascal — tend to fall flat.
There's nothing really scary in "The Great Wall." It's rated PG-13, so the gore is on a much lower level than it might be. There's almost no blood, there's very little swearing and there's no sex at all.
And it's over relatively quickly, at 103 minutes.
But there's also very little in the way of characters you care about. You know whom you're supposed to identify with, but the script is so slight it's tough on the actors.
And the resolution seems much too easily accomplished.
There's also something at least vaguely … if not offensive, certainly uncomfortable ... about the premise that it takes a white guy to save China. And, despite assertions to the contrary, that's what happens.
In a weird sort of way, "The Great Wall" is a medieval version of "Pacific Rim," a much more entertaining monster movie that was big, dumb fun.
"The Great Wall" is absolutely big. It's certainly dumb. But it's not much fun.
spierce@sltrib.com
Twitter: @ScottDPierce
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'The Great Wall'
This grand spectacle is really just a monster movie that's not particularly scary.
Where • Theaters everywhere.
When • Opens Friday.
Rating • PG-13 for computer-generated violence.
This image released by Legendary Pictures and Universal Pictures shows Matt Damon as William Garin in a scene from "The Great Wall." (Jasin Boland/Legendary Pictures and Universal Pictures via AP)
This image released by Legendary Pictures and Universal Pictures shows Lu Han as Peng Yong in a scene from "The Great Wall." (Legendary Pictures and Universal Pictures via AP)
This image released by Legendary Pictures and Universal Pictures shows a scene from "The Great Wall." (Legendary Pictures and Universal Pictures via AP)
This image released by Legendary Pictures and Universal Pictures shows Jing Tian as Commander Lin Mae in a scene from "The Great Wall." (Jasin Boland/Legendary Pictures and Universal Pictures via AP)
