Vampire Weekend’s bass player really wants to hang out with ‘The Real Housewives of SLC’

Hey, Real Housewives of Salt Lake City: Did you know that a member of the band Vampire Weekend is at least a little obsessed with you? And that he really wants you to come to their upcoming concert in Utah?

And he’d love to buy you dinner and hang.

In an episode of the band’s YouTube streaming series “Vampire Campfire” — the three band members sit around a fire pit talking mostly about themselves — bass player Chris Baio extends an invitation to “RHOSLC” cast members Heather Gay, Whitney Rose, Lisa Barlow, Meredith Marks, Angie Katsanevas “and, yes, Monica” Garcia: “If you have any interest in going to an indie rock festival in your town of Salt Lake City, we are playing the Kilby Court Block Party in the second week in May.”

(The block party is set for May 10-12 at the Utah State Fairpark. Vampire Weekend is scheduled to headline on Friday, May 10, closing out the night on the Kilby Stage.)

Baio is clearly a fan of Utah’s Housewives. “I absolutely was blown away by your most recent season,” he says, which finished airing in January.

His bandmates just as clearly know nothing about the show. “So what’s so good about ‘The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City’?” asks guitarist Ezra Koenig. Drummer Chris “CT” Tomson adds, “I bet there’s, like, years of mythology to understand it all.” And Baio tells them, “It’s a whole universe.”

But Baio — who has not just been watching “RHOSLC,” but actually paying attention — quickly and accurately sums up what happened in Season 4.

“What ended up happening is that a woman [Monica] who was new to the show — she turned out to have been an online troll of all the other women over the years,” he says. “It was an incredible, stunning reveal.”

Off the top of his head, Baio not only remembers the names of all the Housewives but also the name of Monica’s Instagram troll account: Reality Von Tease.

And he tells his bandmates that “one member of ‘Real Housewives of Salt Lake City,’ Jen Shah, she is currently serving time in the federal prison for financial fraud. … She got arrested by the FBI during the second season.”

Also accurate.

Maybe Bravo ought to hire Baio to do promos for “RHOSLC.” He tells his bandmates, and “Vampire Campfire” viewers, “It’s an incredible program and, like, I cannot recommend it enough.”

And when Tomson suggests that cast members can expect “maybe even dinner on you before the show,” Baio quickly agrees. “I would love to hang before the show. … It would be my honor and my privilege,” he says.

He’s obviously a fan, and he appreciates that the Housewives are “gladiators … fighting for our entertainment.” Tomson doesn’t get it, asking if “Real Housewives” is like “Road Rules,” with challenges set up for cast members. “What’s the game here?”

“This is the game of being a Housewife,” Baio says. “The fighting, and all that kind of stuff.” And, he adds, the show includes “an element of cruelty.”

Also accurate.