In the Dec. 12 episode of “The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City,” it’s Day 2 in Bermuda, and it’s Monica Garcia’s birthday. Heather Gay declares Monica is queen for the day, but things take a turn when one of Monica’s Bermuda relatives texts her and cancels their meeting.
Monica suspects her mother is behind this, which makes sense — but she has no proof. But Monica is devastated, crying a lot of tears.
Monica tells Lisa that Meredith is spreading rumors that Angie is in the Greek mafia and, among other things, owes $170,000 to the IRS. They both think Meredith is using Monica to spread the rumors, and Lisa says Meredith is “crazy.”
That’s weird, Monica and Angie
Monica asks about Heather’s college-age daughter’s sex life, and Heather refuses to answer. Both Monica and Angie say they think Heather won’t answer because of her “Mormon” upbringing.
They’re oblivious to that fact that it’s totally weird for a mother to talk about her daughter’s sex life.
Spreading the rumors
After riding Jet Skis and having lunch on the beach, Lisa tells Angie that (according to Monica) Meredith is spreading rumors about her being in the mafia and alleged financial improprieties in her company. Lisa says it’s the same sort of thing Meredith did to her a year earlier.
Angie says she’s “sick of” Meredith “coming at my business. I’m sick of her coming at my family, It’s like, enough is enough. If she wants to see gangster, I’m going to show her gangster.”
(Meredith Andrews | Bravo) Heather Gay, Lisa Barlow, Meredith Marks and Angie Katsanevas on "The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City." THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF SALT LAKE CITY -- Pictured: (l-r) Lisa Barlow, Meredith Marks -- (Photo by: Meredith Andrews/Bravo)
Dressing like pirates
For her birthday dinner, Monica wants everyone to dress like a pirate. And Heather says that’s appropriate: “We’re one step above plunderers as it is.”
Whitney has some difficulty with her pirate costume: “My outfit came with a G string and I thought it was an eyepatch and I put it on.”
Another dinner, two more fights
At the birthday dinner, Monica says she “felt sex-shamed earlier.” (She felt sex-shamed because Heather didn’t want to talk about her daughter’s sex life?) When the conversation turns to when each woman last had sex, the four married women speak up; Heather declines to answer. She says she’s the only single one there. This leads to a fight with Monica, who argues she’s single even though her divorce isn’t final. (She’s wrong.)
Then Angie goes after Meredith for her allegations of financial impropriety and mafia membership. Meredith denies everything, and Monica insists she’s lying. Whitney and Lisa both believe Meredith is lying.
Lisa says that if “one more [expletive] DM shows up, I will have my cybersecurity team go the distance on it.” The other women are surprised to learn Lisa has a cybersecurity team.
Heather says this all “a huge boondoggle of deceit.”
Read the full recap of this week’s episode at sltrib.com.
