The latest episode of “The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City” is either one nearly continuous battle or a bunch of smaller fights strung together, depending on how you look at it. The women-screaming-at-each-other quotient was particularly high in this week’s episode.
No matter what you think of the show or its stars, it’s amazing that the editors are able to put together anything coherent.
Here’s a blow-by-blow description:
Whitney’s recovered memories
Things pick up right where last week’s episode left off: Whitney Rose tells the other Housewives that she had recovered memories of childhood abuse. Again, she does not provide any details, except to say that she can’t remember anything from ages 9 to 17, and that “the abuse has gone on generationally.”
“I’m literally breaking the cycle for my family, and that’s all I care about,” Whitney says. Meredith Marks tells her she’s “brave,” and Heather Gay says, “I feel betrayed for you. To be honest, I’m freaking out.”
Weirdly, this leads to another round in the fight between Lisa Barlow and Meredith, stemming from Lisa’s infamous, caught-on-microphone, Season 2 rant. Lisa apologizes again; Meredith rolls her eyes and, again, refuses to accept Lisa’s apology. “So you don’t regret the vitriol, venom and hatred that you spewed?” Meredith says, interrupting Lisa. “You don’t regret what you said, but only your choice of words.”
That’s not what Lisa said, but it’s what Meredith thinks she heard. Meredith lashes out: “I never confide in you, Lisa, because I never fully trusted you.” Meredith says that Lisa “made up” the things she said in the rant. In a confessional, Lisa says, “No. That’s the truth!”
And then they go back over the argument once again. Lisa denies that she said she was hurt because someone told her Meredith said her house is ugly; we see a clip of Lisa saying just that.
“If you are able to be accountable and you want to move forward, your behavior is not acceptable,” Meredith says. And then Meredith scolds Lisa. “You are an interrupter. Please stop interrupting me. It is very impolite.” This comes shortly after Meredith repeatedly interrupted Lisa.
“If you think that this is normal behavior and you don’t want to get help and make changes. And there is no more I can do for you,” Meredith says. “If you think that you should be getting some help, I’m happy to help.”
In a confessional, Heather says, “The words that are coming from Meredith’s mouth are not dirty or mean, but they cut a bitch.”
Lisa says, “Everybody talks [expletive] about everybody and it’s how we’re going to move forward. I’m not going to slit my wrists for anybody.”
“That is a horrible thing to say,” Meredith interjects. Jen tells Lisa that Meredith “had a family member” who took his own in that manner, which Lisa says she did not know. Meredith reacts angrily, and Lisa apologizes.
“It’s like Meredith is just pulling at any last string she can to be mad at Lisa,” Whitney says in the confessional.
Jen tries to put the Lisa/Meredith battle in perspective, comparing it to the court battle that is looming for her. (At this point in the show, she is facing trial on federal fraud charges. Although she continues to insist she’s innocent in these episodes, she later pleaded guilty.)
Meredith tells Lisa, “I appreciate your apology and I hear you. We are not at a point of resolution yet, if that’s what you want. We will have to have much more discussion.” Lisa replies flatly, “Thanks for hearing me. I appreciate that.”
Meredith doesn’t listen to Heather
The following morning, Meredith is in the hair and makeup chair, and Heather (in a confessional) once again disses Arizona. “I mean, a glam team in the middle of Arizona? Isn’t that an oxymoron?” she says, “Like, who are you going to impress? The cacti? The tumbleweeds?”
Heather urges Meredith to make up with Lisa. “I feel like you are coming off as condescending and superior,” she says, adding that Meredith has given “more grace” to others “who have hurt you and stabbed in the back.”
“That’s really not true,” Meredith falsely asserts. Cut to a shot of Jen, because Meredith and Jen were at each other’s throats throughout Season 2, but Meredith has forgiven Jen.
“Stop being a condescending, superior bitch,” Heather says. “Come down a few notches and let’s just have fun.” But Meredith is unwilling to bend.
“I feel frustrated because I know Meredith is capable of forgiving Lisa,” Heather says in a confessional, “but she doesn’t want to. And while there’s a part of me that understands that deeply, I’m kind of over it.”
As are many viewers, no doubt.
(Jesse Grant | Bravo) Heather Gay, Meredith Marks, Whitney Rose, Lisa Barlow and Jen Shah prepare to board the Arizona Party Bike on "The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City."
Arizona outing
The Housewives go on what Jen describes as a “bike trolley drinking trip.” They get on an Arizona Party Bike, drink wine, scream and throw drinks at each other.
In a confessional, Whitney says, “Watching Lisa and Meredith passive-aggressively throw cheap wine at each other — I’m living for it.”
When Whitney climbs on a post that supports the roof of the vehicle and makes like it’s a stripper pole, turning upside down, Jen pours drinks down her crotch and makes crude comments.
Riding horses
Lisa takes the Housewives to a performance of a group of escaramuza riders — synchronized horsewomen who, we’re told, performed at the launch of the 2019 Dior collection and were featured in Vogue. Their performance is fantastic.
(Jesse Grant | Bravo) Meredith Marks, Whitney Rose and Jen Shah on "The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City."
The Housewives change into dresses like those of the riders and get on horses to try riding sidesaddle themselves.
When Whitney suggests that it’s “hypocritical” that “we’re all holding [Lisa] to the cross” while talking about the rumors about her, Meredith insists, “I didn’t spread rumors. I said ... there are rumors out there.” The producers helpfully insert an earlier clip of Meredith saying, “I just heard that she was, you know, doing favors to help get places to pick up Vida Tequila.” (Lisa and her husband own Vida.)
“It doesn’t matter how Meredith wants to try to spin this narrative, you’re talking [expetive],” Whitney says in a confessional. “Are you really going to argue semantics?”
Meredith goes on to say, “I didn’t go out there and spread to the world. I did a one-on-one conversation with other people. It’s kind of not my problem.” This is ludicrous. She said that to Whitney while the “Real Housewives” camera were rolling.
(Jesse Grant | Bravo) Lisa Barlow and Whitney Rose on "The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City."
The garbage whore lingerie party
It’s time for the garbage whore lingerie party — inspired by something Lisa said in her anti-Meredith rant last season. Whitney’s butt is hanging out for all the world to see, and she tells Heather, “I need to to paint my ta-ta’s.” It’s ever so classy. And Whitney is determined to stir things up for her own unclear motives.
“Meredith came to me and told me the rumors,” Whitney says. (Which is not altogether true — Meredith told Whitney there are rumors, and Whitney expanded on them.) “At some point. like, I have to tell Lisa that we talked about this.”
Meredith enters, wearing what appears to be a dominatrix bustier, leather pants and an “I Love NY” baseball hat. Lisa enters wearing flowy pajamas, which don’t fit the lingerie theme, but she says she feels “sexy.”
In response to a question from Whitney, Jen and Meredith admit they talked about the Lisa rumors, and Meredith adds that she didn’t divulge details so that makes it alright.
(Randy Shropshire | Bravo) Whitney Rose and Meredith Marks on "The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City."
Whitney says she feels like she’s been “put in the middle,” which puzzles Meredith. “The reality is, you had a lot more to say than I did,” Meredith correctly points out. Flashback to that conversation, when Whitney said she’d heard that Lisa had been sleeping with a “wealthy” and “well-known man in Utah” to get him to invest in her businesses. And, she added, Angie Harrington told her at a Jazz game that John and Jack Barlow “were sitting in his seats.”
(Angie, Lisa’s now-former friend who appeared in Season 2, hasn’t yet shown up in Season 3 — but we’re assured she will.)
“I don’t feel like I can authentically move forward if we don’t put it on the table,” says Whitney, who is determined to make the Meredith/Lisa fight all about herself. “I’m coming from a position of strength,” Whitney adds nonsensically. “Everyone is used to me being Nancy Drew. I am not and will not no more” — a statement that is both odd and ungrammatical.
“What are you even talking about?” Meredith asks.
The fight intensifies
Whitney tells everyone she is “done with the [expletive]” and tells everyone to “shut up” so she can “get it out in my own way.” She tells Lisa about the rumors that she traded sex for business deals.
“Retaliation is a [expletive] bitch,” Lisa says. In a confessional, she adds, “I’m in shock. … I thought marriages were off limits, Meredith. I thought everything with family is off limits.” That is indeed what Meredith repeatedly asserted in Season 2.
Lisa tells the other women, “there’s nothing wrong with my marriage. There’s no infidelity. I’m happy. I love my family. John and I are totally fine.”
Whitney repeats the rumor about the wealthy man who has the Jazz tickets. “Are you crazy?” Lisa yells at Whitney. “That is disgusting.” Whitney yells back, “I’m not the one that started it. … I’m just telling you what I heard.”
(Bravo) Former friends Angie Harrington and Lisa Barlow in a Season 2 episode of "The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City."
Angie apparently told Whitney, who told Meredith. “I don’t know why I’m even involved in this right now,” Meredith says in a confessional — ignoring the fact that she’s been gossiping about the rumors with Jen, Whitney and who knows who else. “I’ve heard other rumors, but not the ones Whitney told me,” she says, with a smile, in a confessional.
Lisa pretty much explodes. “Does this feel [expletive] good? Like, [expletive] hurt me more.” Then Meredith, who so despises people who interrupt, interrupts Lisa to argue some more.
Lisa stands up to Meredith
So far this season, Lisa has been as contrite as she seems capable of being, repeatedly apologizing to Meredith. But now she tells Meredith, “I am not going to beg for your friendship. … Don’t patronize me. … You want to retaliate? Go ahead and retaliate. I don’t need your friendship. … We’re done.”
Lisa gets up from the table crying and goes to her bedroom. Rather surprisingly, Meredith goes after her, but Lisa isn’t having it. “You don’t get to come in here. I want you to go. … You’re not my friend. I have nothing to say to you,” she says.
But Meredith insists she wants to “clear something up. … I do not say anything other than the fact that there are rumors out there, and I didn’t know if they were true.” That’s not altogether true. And Meredith had a smug smile on her face while she shared rumors with Jen, Whitney and viewers.
In a confessional, Lisa points out, “I’m not the one going from house to house talking about you behind your back. ... Did you engage in the negative conversations about me and my family? If the answer is yes, you’re at fault, too. It doesn’t matter who brought it up first. Did you shut it down or did you engage?”
Meredith tells Lisa, “I should have just not said anything at all. I was trying to understand what was going on and I should have said nothing. And I apologize.”
Whoa. Surprise!
Lisa accepts her apology. But, she points, the rumors are “not good for my kids. Not good for my husband.”
Heather blames Whitney
Whitney — who thrust herself in the middle of this fight — calls Meredith’s behavior “retaliation.” In a confessional, Heather says, “I don’t know what’s going on with Whitney. She’s like a runaway train. I know she’s got a lot on her heart and mind. But if Whitney is seeking peace and truth and healing, stirring up trouble is the opposite of that.”
This trip to Arizona was supposed to be a show of support for Jen. Whitney has turned it into another battle in the Meredith-vs.-Lisa war.
“Way to go, cuz,” Heather says. “Really, really knocked it out of the park on this one. We’ve taken in already frantic, stressed-out women [Jen], and upped the ante.”
As this is going on, Jen is disgusted because it’s not all about her. “I’m fighting for my life and my freedom, but y’all are fighting for courtside Jazz ticket seats,” she says.
Remember, she later gave up that fight and pleaded guilty to federal fraud charges. At the request of prosecutors, her sentencing has been postponed until Dec. 15.
Lisa confronts Whitney about the Jazz tickets rumor. Whitney is fighting mad at Meredith. “You are the one who said that you have heard that she is, in fact, a whore,” Whitney says. And Meredith continues to try to justify her back-biting and rumor-mongering with the inaccurate I-just-said-there-are-rumors defense.
Whitney says she is “sick” of “being rolled under the bus,” failing to realize that she did that to herself.
And then war breaks out between Whitney and Heather. Whitney insists that Heather, who was at the Jazz game in question, heard Angie spreading the rumors.
“I did not hear it,” Heather angrily insists. “It’s a lie. If I knew it, I would [expletive] say it. You don’t think I would love that information on her?” Not a good look for Heather, but she comes across as honest.
“You are lying right now,” Whitney shouts at Heather. Heather shouts back, “[Expletive] you for calling me a [expletive] liar!” Heather shouts. Whitney replies, “Please. I love to be [expletive].”
If it wasn’t so ugly, it might be funny.
The next episode of “The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City” airs Wednesday, Oct. 19, on Bravo — 7 p.m. on Dish and DirecTV; 9 p.m. on Comcast.
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