Well, take a look at these two emails that arrived in my inbox on the same day …
Dear Ann Cannon • I’m traveling to a foreign country with my know-it-all, 28-year-old daughter in a few months. How do we get along for two weeks?
— Concerned Mama
Dear Ann Cannon • I’m traveling to a foreign country with my sassy 61-year-old mother in a few months. How do we get along for two weeks?
— Concerned Daughter
Dear Mama and Daughter • Hahahahahahaha! I think you two must have had fun writing these questions together, right? But the question(s) are valid, so here goes.
1. I think it’s actually a good sign that you’re already aware there might be some tense moments on your vacation. That way you can prepare for them. Also, you won’t be overly disappointed if and when things DO get a little chippy (I LOVE that word chippy) between the two of you. You’ll take it in stride. It’s the people who expect perfection from an experience (and from one another) that I worry about, frankly.
2. Meanwhile, commit yourselves to practicing the fine art of compromise. Take turns giving the other person her own way.
3. And, finally, don’t be afraid to give each other a little space now and then. Slip away by yourself for a while. Take a walk. Go to a museum. Eat a little something. Alone. No matter how much you love being with another person, alone time can recharge your social battery.
But here’s my real advice: Have fun and be grateful for the opportunity you have to spend time with one another.
Dear Ann Cannon • We have an old, smallish dog. He’s a gentle soul who is very easy to be around. We have relatives with younger, more vivacious and exuberant dogs who come to stay from time to time. These other dogs are very upsetting to our poor old guy. How do we kindly tell our relatives to make other arrangements or to keep their pets under control? We enjoy their visits, but we feel sorry for our dear old pet.
— Old Pet’s Caretaker
Dear Caretaker • Oh, gosh. It’s the easiest thing in the world for me to sit here alone at my computer and tell you that you should have an honest, respectful conversation about your concerns with your relatives. Having that conversation in real life is a lot harder. Still, I think that’s the best solution.
If you’re worried, however, that sharing your concerns might genuinely offend your relatives, there are other options. You could isolate your pet when guests arrive — crate him or put him in a room away from the other dogs. It doesn’t really seem fair that he’s the one who has to be in “time out,” but there it is. My guess is that he probably won’t mind.
Dear Ann Cannon • How do you explain to your tween-age daughter (who wants to be a veterinarian) that to do an internet search for “wiener cat” could lead to serious problems?
— I’m Serious. Look up Wiener Cat.
Dear I’m Serious • Readers will probably think I made up this question. I didn’t. Also, I took your advice, and … yes, Virginia, there is a wiener cat.
Ann Cannon is The Tribune’s advice columnist. Got a question for Ann? Email her at askann@sltrib.com or visit the Ask Ann Cannon page on Facebook.
