Hi, I’m Marina. We might not know each other (yet), but I’m really glad you’re alive and a member of my community. However, it sounds like you might not be feeling as jazzed about you as I am.
I get it. I was a pretty discontent LGBTQ youngster myself.
I don’t know if you’ve seen all the news about this thing called “conversion therapy,” but there are a lot of smart people who are concerned about the long-term effects of trying to change your sexuality or gender identity.
They’re right, because despite any person’s best efforts to change those core elements, they are simply out of our control. While that might seem like bad news, I hope to show you otherwise (and I promise that changing your mind about this will be easier than trying to change your mind about who you love or how you should present your gender, so stay with me).
First, I want you to know how proud of you I am. You’re self-aware enough to know who you are, and you’re courageous enough to acknowledge it to yourself and maybe even people around you. That makes you a rock star, and it makes me your biggest fan (please send your autograph to The Tribune’s newsroom).
Second, you’re not “fixable” because you’re not broken. There is nothing wrong about love, no matter what direction it flies. And there is nothing wrong about being outside of the traditional gender binary, except when the world tries to keep you from expressing it. You are perfect. Full stop.
Third, being lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, and/or intersex is your new superpower. We know from “The Incredibles” that having special powers is complex and sometimes not appreciated by everyone, but it’s our key to making the world a better place.
How, you ask (because you’re smart, curious and skeptical, and I love that about you too)? Because when we are brave enough to be authentic, we’re brave enough to do anything. So start thinking about your costume and catchphrases, because the world needs courage and authenticity something fierce right now.
The world needs you, my friend, just as you are.
Fourth, it is true that life as an out LGBTQ person has its challenges. We are sometimes the only people in our families, churches or schools who love or look like us, and being different can be less comfortable than fitting in at times.
But I promise you nothing is harder than trying to change that which is unchangeable, and nothing is harder than what you’re feeling now — that you’re not OK just the way you are.
You’ve already survived the worst, so I am confident you have what it takes to handle the rest.
Fifth, you’re not alone. The second you decide to embrace your full humanity, you get to party with some of the most vibrant, loving, compassionate, hilarious, strong and beautiful people in the world. Plus, we can provide support, resources and love when you need them.
We are here with you and we are here for you.
There might be people in your world who need time to adjust to your truth, and that can be difficult and temporarily lonely. But for every person who needs to step back for a moment, there are thousands of us ready to step up to celebrate you.
I hope you will join us in loving you — exactly as you are.
Marina Gomberg is a communications professional and lives in Salt Lake City with her wife, Elenor Gomberg, and their son, Harvey. You can reach Marina at mgomberg@sltrib.com.
