Op-ed: As a teacher, I've seen good parents from all walks
By peter hayes
Spanning the course of 28 consecutive years, I taught science in both public and private schools in Los Angeles and Salt Lake City. During that time, I taught nearly 3,000 students from all walks of life, including those who had billionaires for parents and those who lived in cars. I had students whose parents were single moms or dads, divorced, married (both happily and unhappily), unknown to them, same-sex and heterosexual.
Students came to my class with all sorts of emotional baggage from their home that manifested in their behavior. I had students who isolated themselves, those who lacked self-esteem, who were angry, who never did their homework and those who failed. Conversely, I also had students who added much to the class environment, those who were thrilled to learn, and those who were joyful and succeeded.
With increased experience in the classroom, I became adept at predicting the nature of the home based on how my students behaved in and out of class. Parent-teacher conferences often validated my initial impressions.
Though I got very good at predicting the home environment, I could never predict which of my students had same-sex or heterosexual parents. As a veteran educator I came to see this variable as inconsequential to whether the student was happy and successful. It simply did not matter.
Recently, I have read the rhetoric that claims "good" families are only possible if the married parents are heterosexual. If student happiness and success â both in the class and in their future lives are any measure of whether a family is "good," then those who oppose or even fear same-sex parenting are laboring under impressions that my experience contradicts.
There are countless successful heterosexual parents, and without question, there are numerous successful same-sex parents. However, if we are honest, then we must admit that a heterosexual marriage is not the absolute model for a successful/happy family: half of heterosexual marriages in America end in divorce, often leaving a single parent struggling to make ends meet and raise their children.
Dreamy-eyed pundits who advocate the paradigm, "man + woman (only) marriage = best family," are wearing blinders. In my long teaching career, students who thrived came from homes where parents â regardless of sexual orientation â were supportive, loving and happy â¦ period.
Peter Hayes had to leave teaching after he was diagnosed with a terminal lung disease. He is happily married to his wife of 21 years.