In ‘Surviving Mormonism,’ Heather Gay highlights abuse within the LDS Church. Here are details she doesn’t cover.

In her bestselling memoir, “Bad Mormon,” reality TV star Heather Gay spells out her story of trying and failing to fit in her faith.

Now, “The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City” star is back with a documentary, “Surviving Mormonism.” Only this time, she is highlighting the stories of other former members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints scarred by their years in the global faith known for its close-knit families and smiling missionaries.

“I just had this onslaught of an ocean of pain, an ocean of trauma,” she tells the camera, referring to the experiences she encountered in the aftermath of her book. The result is a fired-up Gay who says she feels responsible for warning others about the church, which she concludes in the final episode amounts to a “cult.”

“The house is on fire,” she says, “and if we don’t pull bodies out, there will be devastation.”

The three-part miniseries, streaming on Peacock, can be a brutal watch. Topics it touches on include, the church’s vast wealth, its former practice of polygamy and the character of its founding prophet, Joseph Smith. But it is on the deep emotional harm allegedly experienced by some of those on the margins that Gay zeroes in on.

In the first episode, David Matheson, an advocate turned critic of so-called conversion — or reparative — therapy and himself a gay man, weeps over the stigma he experienced and perpetuated while trying to conform to church teachings.

“I’m overwhelmed by the arrogance of the whole thing,” Matheson, who shared his story in The Salt Lake Tribune’s “Mormon Land” podcast in 2019, says after watching a video of his younger self assuring listeners that he can help them “overcome same-sex attraction.”

[Listen to The Tribune’s “Mormon Land” podcast with Matheson here.]

The second and third episodes can be even harder to witness. In both, survivors describe horrific sexual abuse they allege was committed by fellow members who they say took advantage of church policies and culture that shame survivors and protect predators.

“I didn’t tell anyone because I believed I had committed sin,” one man, who alleges he was abused during much of his childhood, says, struggling to speak through his emotions. “... I’ve always viewed that as something that I’ve needed to repent of.”

Through it all, Gay avoids in-depth explanations of church theology, practices and hierarchies, and instead focuses on the stories themselves.

Asked to comment on the documentary, a church spokesperson did not immediately provide a response.

The church, conversion therapy and LGBTQ+ issues

Latter-day Saint theology is rooted in the belief that marriage between a man and a woman is essential for returning to live with God in the highest heavenly realm, known as the Celestial Kingdom. These eternal bonds, formed in a temple ritual known as a sealing, also extend to the children, yielding the Latter-day Saint phrase “families are forever.”

Same-sex marriage complicates this model and, in doing so, strikes at the heart of the faith’s theology.

Church leaders have long struggled to describe where members of the LGBTQ+ community fit into this plan. At one point, Gay states that Latter-day Saints believe that gay individuals will become straight after death. While a popular theory, this does not represent official doctrine. Today, the eternal fate of these individuals remains a question mark within the church’s teachings.

One outcome of this theological ambiguity is an evolving stance on the nature of “same-sex attraction” and the guidance given to those who experience it.

In the show, Matheson describes being told that once he married a woman, his attraction to men would go away. Although never official policy, this was a message many of his generation heard from trusted church leaders.

“The doctrine is, at its core,” Gay states, “homophobic, misogynistic and deeply, deeply bigoted.”

In the years since, this advice has faded. The church, led by newly installed President Dallin H. Oaks, acknowledges that some people are born gay. It teaches that same-sex attraction is not a sin but “acting on it” is.

As for conversion therapy, the church has never formally endorsed the practice, opposed by the American Psychological Association. Indeed, therapists for the church who see members across the globe do not offer any kind of “sexual-orientation change efforts,” a church spokesperson told The Tribune in 2015.

A page on conversion therapy from the faith’s website states: “As a church, we oppose any therapy ─ including conversion therapy for sexual orientation or gender identity ─ that subjects a person to abusive practices.”

[Read more of The Tribune’s reporting on the LDS Church and conversion therapy here.]

How the LDS Church handles cases of sexual abuse

In the series, Gay’s friend Ben alleges he experienced repeated childhood abuse at the hands of a member of his congregation.

The Tribune wrote about the congregant in 2017, when a woman filed a civil action — and won a settlement — against him, alleging he abused her for years when she was a teenager.

[Read The Tribune’s story on that case here.]

At the time, the woman said multiple bishops, or lay leaders of Latter-day Saint congregations, knew about the abuse but failed to report it to police. Ben echoes this claim.

In a separate case outlined in the final episode, two sisters describe years of abuse at the hands of their father.

For its part, the church has repeatedly insisted it “has a zero-tolerance policy” when it comes to abuse.

“This means that if we learn of abuse,” a spokesperson told The Tribune in 2017, “we take immediate steps to protect the victim and help them with healing. We cooperate with law enforcement to report and investigate abuse.”

Central to that effort is the church’s help line, given to bishops who are directed to call in cases of reported abuse. Staffed by church-employed lawyers, the help line was at the center of 2022-23 AP investigations that indicated the service “is part of a system that can easily be misused by church leaders to divert abuse accusations against members away from law enforcement and instead to church attorneys, who may bury the problem, leaving victims in harm’s way.”

The church denounced the AP’s descriptions of its help line, saying it was “mischaracterized” and “oversimplified.”

[Read more of The Tribune’s reporting on the help line here.]

The church, meanwhile, says it provides training for adult volunteers, including bishops, on how to recognize and prevent abuse and has implemented rules about who can be alone with children during church-sponsored events.

Even so, there has long been a culture of silence within the socially conservative, patriarchal religion, when it comes to sexual assault.

That may be changing, however.

During a 2022 worldwide broadcast to all 17.5 million members, apostle Patrick Kearon spoke directly to abuse survivors.

“The abuse was not, is not and never will be your fault, no matter what the abuser or anyone else may have said to the contrary,” Kearon declared. “… When you have been a victim of cruelty, incest or other perversion, you are not the one who needs to repent; you are not responsible.”