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Recent policy changes to the Mormon Church Handbook of Instructions regarding LGBT Mormons and their children have elicited an outcry for the need of greater compassion from Mormon church leaders. LGBT Mormons married to individuals of the same gender will now bear the brand of "apostate" and children of LGBT couples will not be allowed to undergo traditional community rituals and ordinances during childhood if their LGBT parents have primary custody. Church membership for many will only be allowed at the age of 18 and on the condition that children disavow parents' marriages or relationships and move out of the home.

The cries for compassion are well-founded. Acceptance within Mormonism is linked to membership and is signified through participation in community rituals. LGBT Mormons and their children will face serious social consequences as a direct result of this institutionalized exclusion. Legal battles over primary custody will intensify, further harming children and causing more discord among families in already difficult circumstances.

The Mormon church has responded to the cries for compassion with the explanation that the policy changes were made in alignment with the manner in which the church has dealt with fundamentalist Mormon polygamists in the past. Former polygamist Mormons who were excluded from mainstream Mormonism as children, according to church policy and as a direct result of the sexual and marital practices of their parents, have spoken about the social harm they endured during their formative years.

The church has made the statement that this "episode demonstrates clearly the dangers of drawing conclusions based on "incomplete" (emphasis my own) news reports, tweets, and Facebook posts without necessary context and accurate information."

The Mormon church's explanation of their reasoning behind these policy changes may be as "incomplete," however, as they claim the social media and media reports on the subject have been. What the leaders of the mainstream Mormon Church are neglecting to acknowledge is that the church publicly disavowed polygamy to align church policy with the "laws of the land," but privately retained the doctrine of polygamy after death within mainstream Mormon temples.

Young mainstream Mormon girls are socialized to accept whatever they learn in the temple when they finally reach the age of maturity and are allowed to attend. They are socialized to accept the language in the temple that asks them to believe that they must accept inequality because Eve was the first to partake of the forbidden fruit. The are socialized to accept the veracity of Mormon doctrine about marriage, including polygamous marriage after death.

Sometimes women will not have the self-awareness to understand the language of oppression in the temple or will believe adherence and humble acceptance of the doctrinal language is the sacrifice they must make to be righteous. Many women will not speak in their own defense because they do not have enough experience with true empowerment to know that there is something they are missing. Some women will not speak for their gender because they are not aware the doctrine of eternal polygamy is still part of mainstream Mormonism. The information is skillfully obscured, even in the temple, but it is there.

Many Mormon women will not speak in defense of women because, more often than not, they are shamed and gently (but effectively) chastised for speaking up for their gender within Mormonism. Believing Mormon women are incentivized to align their actions and words with mainstream Mormon beliefs about gender because rather than shaming, alignment allows increased community belongingness, credibility and social status, despite other costs.

Mainstream Mormon women and LGBT Mormons are inseparably linked because marriage is doctrinally defined in a way that negatively affects both groups. LGBT people and children are the collateral damage of this new policy, and women have been the direct, not collateral, damage of the doctrine for generations.

Yet the current clamor for compassion does not extend to women and we do not often quickly or directly ask to have it extended to ourselves.

Charity and compassion for women, many of whom have more compassion for others than for themselves, and many of whom, in addition to not speaking up for themselves, will attack women who do speak, can be difficult and is often forgotten.

Even so, women are in need of more compassion and more recognition despite our conflicting voices.

In fact, it is possibly because of our conflicting voices that this compassion and recognition is most necessary. Our division is a symptom of our oppression.

Anne McMullin Peffer is a sixth-generation Mormon and considers herself to have been a Mormon feminist since early childhood. She is a master's candidate in clinical psychology at Harvard University Extension School. She no longer believes in Mormonism.